Sunday, October 27, 2013

My Freedom (English version of the poem "Свобода" of December 27, 2010)

I am not needed in this world
And I will be a part of it no more.
It’s no use knocking on the heaven’s door,
No bringing back the happiness that’s lost.

I won’t get to see the sun again,
Won’t get to know that life is great,
I only know, there is no other way,
No point in putting off the Judgment Day.

All that remains is just a shade of hope,
Just cruel and obsessive memories,
Which take me back to that day long gone,
I can’t put right what's been done wrong.

Days come and go, I don't deny,
So why repeat the past mistakes?
Why keep the score of my defeats,
Trying to live without your smile?

Seems like it’ll always be this way,
Alas, it’s a delusion too.
My soul’s a mess, with vacant stare,
My faith fades out day after day.

We find the meaning in the empty things,
We hide behind a mask of vanity.
Life slips away, not giving any chance
To tell you just how much you mean to me.

And still I know that freedom I can find
If I can chase regrets and fears away.
And I will whisper just before I die,
“Forgive me”… But forgiveness I won’t gain.

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