I don't have time. I can't get anything done. I really hate myself. Everything seems to go wrong. They did not want to see me yesterday, I have no chance...

I'm going crazy... It was yet another bad joke today: when I finally decided to have my car washed, although I had very little money left - and within a second after they finished the washing, it started to rain! Which means it is dirty again.

However, I'm going to Berdyansk tomorrow morning with Alena. I hope I will come back safe... And I put on flesh once again - how can I show my awful body on the beach?

Planes crash, the war is on, my head is in a muddle, I'm sick of everything... Die, fucking Russia!!!

I need to discontinue "relationship" with that bastard who almost beats me up and wipes the floor with me for the hundredth time and then says he loves me and pretends he's sorry! God, I wanna weep him out and vomit him up, make him pay for what he's done and find a way to move on... Why don't I deserve someone to save me from this shit and truly love me? I'm too straightforward and fair, this is my problem... That's why I'm not appreciated, and I have to give up the idea of winning the heart of the one I think I love...

Loser in fact

I keep losing my purse and losing in football lottery. It looks like some malicious joke! Well, the purse was found, but I had to pay again, this time for a taxi, and Germany won the championship - so I felt happy and blessed as I heard about it in the morning, but then it turned out that the goal scored during additional time is not considered as option 1. So my second attempt was a washout. It's ridiculous. Where's my good luck that she had promised??
I'm better at driving someone else's car than my own. Isn't it strange and ironic? It's the second time that I get behind the wheel of unfamiliar car and though it seems uncomfortable, I even manage to park perfectly, which is not the case with mine!
I'm still a bit hung-over after the night before... I said I would write here every day, but it doesn't seem to work out .
Very soon I will have to tell Alena that my plan to go to Berdyansk with her is canceled. I simply don't have money, and now I'm reluctant anyway.
I can't get those predictions out of my head. But after all these events, I am disheartened and have much less hope to win him over...