I don't have time. I can't get anything done. I really hate myself. Everything seems to go wrong. They did not want to see me yesterday, I have no chance...

I'm going crazy... It was yet another bad joke today: when I finally decided to have my car washed, although I had very little money left - and within a second after they finished the washing, it started to rain! Which means it is dirty again.

However, I'm going to Berdyansk tomorrow morning with Alena. I hope I will come back safe... And I put on flesh once again - how can I show my awful body on the beach?

Planes crash, the war is on, my head is in a muddle, I'm sick of everything... Die, fucking Russia!!!

I need to discontinue "relationship" with that bastard who almost beats me up and wipes the floor with me for the hundredth time and then says he loves me and pretends he's sorry! God, I wanna weep him out and vomit him up, make him pay for what he's done and find a way to move on... Why don't I deserve someone to save me from this shit and truly love me? I'm too straightforward and fair, this is my problem... That's why I'm not appreciated, and I have to give up the idea of winning the heart of the one I think I love...