Sometimes you just can't believe that these things really happened to you. Like when you get off the bus at 10p.m. and sit down on the bench near your house about to smoke a cigarette before going home, Mute Math playing in your earphones, and suddenly someone approaches you and asks for money. You tell him to leave you alone, and he punches you in the face several times and grabs your handbag. You try to fight and he smothers you. First you scream for help and he lets go of you. You run, but then turn round and see him running away, and then you understand you can't lose your documents for the third time - which are in the purse. So you follow him, knowing that he may beat you again or even kill you. And you implore him to just take the money and give back your things, because it's very important to you. You forget about fear, you don't give up, and at that very moment you don't feel the pain, don't think about danger, don't even realize how courageous you can be... And you win. You get it back. And only as he disappears, you burst into tears. You cry over your weakness, and because it's over now. You understand how lucky you are, and it could have been worse than that... He took your money and cigarettes, but it's ok. But you are in a state of shock and nearly hysterical. Some people you don't know heard everything and try to find him, but you ask them not to bother. Actually, he did not need your purse, he would throw it out anyway, because he just needed money - he's probably a drug addict or something. You need to calm down, so that your parents cannot notice anything, including your bleeding lip. And tomorrow morning you're gonna go to the clinic and then to work, where you should not let it show. You need to talk to someone... But in fact, you remember that nobody cares. 

In the morning you wake up and replay that incident in your mind. You can't believe that could happen to you, but a fat lip is the evidence, and it hurts to move your jaw. 
That's what happened to me yesterday. As predicted, circumstances are starting to make it hard for me to survive here...

So I came back yesterday, after 9 p.m., sunburnt and red, with my skin aching and burning, so I could hardly walk. After the all-day rain, I tried to get a tan in a couple of hours, and that's what I have now. I had to rub myself with sour cream, but it was of little help. And I'm only partially tanned... Plus the same problem appeared again - the one that I cured about a month ago... I just don't know where all this shit comes from, I'm fucking plagued by it half of my life!
I think we had a good time in Berdyansk with Alena and the homeowners that we stayed with, but I can't say I was in raptures, as I'm always in a sullen mood ever since I was betrayed and deceived. Moreover, my fear of water, my antiquated swimsuit and inability to swim make me frustrated and unwilling to come to the beach.
Reflecting upon changing my life before it's too late, I even thought about going to the university which she is entering, to become a specialist in computer technology, but then there were so many buts, that I'd better forget about second higher education forever. For such an inactive and dull person like me - I will not last more than a year; besides, I'm already too old, and being among the teenagers will make me even more depressed and full of self-loathing. Probably, this is not my way...
I did not go to work today, because it hurts me to walk. But tomorrow I must be there...
I just spent 2 days in another place, five hours' journey from here, but now it's the same old story.
I feel like I hate everything.