Mad Race/Escape

I've got away with it again,
I've broken all the rules.
My conscience still appeals to me,
But no pity for those fools!
It serves them right, they're taken down,
But they will be okay.
I fear no more, so come what may –
That's what I wanna say.

(Chorus):

Faster, bolder, I run on the wrong side.
Wiser, colder, I really love this ride!
Deeper, stronger your feelings will grow soon.
But I'm there no longer, unreachable like moon.

I get a kick out of this race,
I wish the world was mine…
Forget the way back to that place
And leave my tears behind.
Elsewhere I will be fine!

(Chorus)

I feel so cool and so complete,
You won't even believe!
Don’t give a damn ‘bout all that shit,
Can’t wait for you to leave.
It’s fucking good to live!

(Oh, where could I get music to make it a REAL song?...)

Friday, 13

¡Hola, mis amigos! (It’s just funny how I’m speaking to myself:) )
This was written on that “happy” day of the last week; now it’s too late to publish it, but still…

Pressed for time,
Short of rhyme,
She’d never make it right,
No matter how she tried.

She’s too slow, too lazy,
Silly, weak and old,
They just call her crazy,
And her story’s told.

Awkward, foolish, ugly…
The vice list has no end,
No one wants her body,
No one can understand…
How long will she pretend?!

Hey, I don’t dissemble!
I just tell the truth.
Who can help me gamble
My soul away and through?

To hell with this routine,
On Friday, the thirteenth!

Delirium

A half-empty glass of wine,
Tonight I'm on my own again.
The window light dazzles my eyes,
I wish the thunderstorm began!

I draw the curtains very tight,
Let the dark come sooner now
to cover me with its black veil;
I'll fall into mad sleep somehow...

I see strange faces, hear a song,
Suddenly soaring like a bird;
The glass is drained, blood's on the snow,
I run and gasp, and fall and crawl...

Some noise, some light... God, where am I?
Am I delirious?.. I cry...
It's time to quit, it's time to wake,
Return to world of void and fake...

Soliloquy

Don’t be afraid,
Fear is so disgusting!
Try to resist,
Girl, you must not trust him!

Don’t forget this lesson,
Learn it very well;
You must overcome love
To escape this hell.

He is not real,
It’s a false sensation;
He’s nothing but
Your imagination…

You have never seen him,
And you should not do;
Let it stay a puzzle,
Cease to seek the truth!

Smile and forget,
Never regret…



Happy Birthday, baby…

It's been so long since the last time I was here! And though I guess that nobody's been missing me here, I come back... just to say a few rhymed words about the problem which has been worrying me (and probably, not only me), but which no one is going to solve. Well, does anybody care?..

****

Who's aware of games they play?
Everyone! But who’s to say?
Who will stop them? Please, don't wait!
Save us until it's too late!

Money... Huge, enormous sums,
Given to destroy the arms –
That's the reason they must lie,
That's the reason we must die!

Morn to evening, working week,
Hurrying up, but don't know where,
We can't change it, we’re too weak,
Drifting... What waits for us there?
Tide will carry us to nowhere...

Damned by cruel destiny,
Town that was just meant to be
Sacrificed to feed their greed,
To become a cemetery...

Does it matter who's to blame?
He won't be punished, anyway
For thousands of forgotten names,
For lives not lived which burnt in flame,
For broken hopes and dreams erased...

It has always been this way:
They rule, they slay, but never pay.
There is no justice; But one day
Their sins and crimes will all unfold...

Let's wait and hope for better world!

To A Stranger...

Wake me
From this endless dream,
Don’t break me,
I’ve been sleeping for so long…
Help me find where I belong.

Heal me,
In this crowded place
Just hear me,
Notice me, don’t pass me by,
Say, it’s gonna be alright...

Lead me
From darkness to the light,
Don’t leave me,
Save me when all hope is gone,

Please, don’t let me be alone!

Waiting In Another World

Long ago I wrote these English lyrics for a well-known Russian song. Actually, the words and the meaning of it were absolutely different. But I just couldn't get rid of my traditional idea...

In the world of hate and lies
He is spending days and nights,
And his kindness.
She knows, he misses her blue eyes,
They can see through his disguise,
He's so helpless.

Looking at her picture,
He can't hold back tears,
Runs away just to escape his fears...

I can't stop thinking of you,
Every minute's like a hell;
Love touched me once in my life,
It was first and farewell.
I've left no trace of myself,
On the earth I won't be back;
But you keep me in your memories,
I know it's me that you lack...

He's remaining in her heart
And she cannot push him out,
The cross is heavy...
Still remembering his arms,
Can't get used to be alone
In this heaven.

There will come a day,
When they meet again;
She just hopes it won't be long to wait...

Hopeless?

It's such a fear, it's such a feeling,
When things go right, when life improves,
Like something's gonna spoil it through,
Someone would break it, steal it, kill it!

Good things can never last too long,
We'll lose what we have earned and won;
Just put up with this and stay strong,
Return to where we all belong.

So wistful, desperate I'm sitting,
Still hoping it won't happen so,
Believing I can let it go,
But faith is fragile, life is fleeting...

The Will

Guess I wasn’t fine
When I was alive,
They despised and mocked me every day.
Was it all my fault?
Being unlike them all,
I just closed my eyes and slipped away.

Don’t blame me for that,
You better forget
This figure of vice,
This soul made of ice.
You live your sweet life
And go your own way,
Be happy, don’t ask
Why I could not stay.

This world is so great,
There’s no place for me,
Display no remorse,
I could get no worse…

JUST A DREAM

Headlights of the car
Are cutting up the night;
Now that you have come,
I know I'll be alright.
Heart is beating faster,
Stars seem to be closer,
These feelings I could never replay;
Everything is perfect,
I've been waiting for it,
I've never felt so good as today...

Open my eyes...
Still the same empty room...
I see the dawn arise,
Cannot change the doom.
Feels like I was brought here
From the different life.
My time has slipped away,
I've lost that precious time...

It was just a dream,
Sweet and foolish dream...
Close my eyes
To get back into that world,
To live in fairy-tale,
To hear your every word...

Sometimes it's late to say "I'm sorry",
Sometimes it's late to wake;
I have to face the morning,
My heart just has to ache...

We will meet in heaven after death.
Now stuck in here, left without hope and faith...

MISSING...

I feel cold raindrops on my lips and fingers,
I hate myself for wanting him, but linger
To go and leave it all at once - I still stay;
This anger devours me inside, there's no way...

I can see nothing through mist around me,
Hanging my head down, I hide my gaze.
Everybody has somewhere to hurry...
Never notice me, just walk away!..

So fast it gets dark,
And rain becomes hard...
"Abandoned by Fate"-
That's my second name...
Don't think about this,
Accept what it gives you!
I speak and I cry,
And silence replies:
There's just one place
You always return,
Get warm with hot tea;
My dreams await me...

...I wish I could hear his voice
And see him just once!
I know that he is
Just my next disease...

THE ONLY FRIEND

She couldn't conceal, she could not hide
Her woes and her sadness behind the smile.

Talking to silence, she sends herself
Letters, confessions, tickets to hell...

That's all she has got and won't throw away.
What is the meaning of these words I say?

Alone she was born and alone she will die;
No miracle will happen, no one’s to hear her cry!

She is forever herself's only friend.
Will God ever hear her? Will he understand?

So easily love has turned into hate;
There's no damned chance to flee from her fate!

Forgive all her mistakes, fill her empty soul...
Who'll give her the reasons for living in this hole?!

Being the only one friend to herself,
Searching the remedy,
Fading to history - was this just meant to be?..