Thursday, November 24, 2011

No Lies


You can hardly breathe in these crowded places,
Feeling so tired of their arrogant faces.
You know it’s all wrong, but just can’t change a thing.
And there’s nothing new that tomorrow can bring.

Got used to the void in your heart long ago,
You swallow your pain and just go with the flow.
You’re hollow inside and too helpless to fight.
You keep waking up in horror at night.

There’s no one to blame that you are on your own,
But you’re clear that it’s better to be all alone.
An idle observer, that’s your perfect role.
You won’t let anyone get you out of this hole.

Underachievement – that’s what really hurts.
And all that you hear is nothing but words.
When you’re wearing a mask, some think that you’re fun.
Your disguise is like reflex, which you can’t overcome.

It’s true that fair face may hide a foul heart,
And for you, there’s no sense in any new start.
Why try, just to have to watch it all fall apart?

You’ll never be strong. Each time it hurts even more.
So deal with it somehow and try to ignore.
Now you wish to be savior, then you wish to destroy.
What if nothing on earth seems to be your real joy?

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Забывая...

Забывая о тех, кто спасал твою жалкую жизнь;
Кто держал твою руку, пытался лечить твои раны; 
Кто ловил лишь твой взгляд; кто просил тебя: "только держись";
Кто тебя не забыл, кто был другом тебе, как ни странно, -

ты стремилась к тому, кто не видел твоих горьких слёз,
Кто не слышал твоих, лишь ему посвящаемых песен…
Убеждала себя, что пройдёт; молча шла ты вперёд,
Только мир без него был как прежде ничтожен и тесен.

И до встречи случайной считала ты дни и недели,
Чтобы только увидеть глаза, что покоя лишили давно,
Но, смеясь безмятежно, сквозь тебя они словно смотрели,
Потому что жива ли, мертва ли ты - им всё равно.

Где бы ты ни была, до сих пор возвращаешься в мыслях
В те далекие ваши счастливые дни на двоих,
Снова жертвуешь всем ради встречи, в которой нет смысла,
Чтобы рядом стоять, когда он обнимает других.

Так нелепо тому посвятив свою жалкую жизнь,
Кто надежды и чувства твои без раскаянья предал,
Ты стремилась к нему всё равно, и вновь падала вниз,
Ну а он гордо мимо прошел - ничего он не ведал...

Ты смирилась, и просто живешь, несмотря ни на что,
Пока слабый огонь в тебе медленно догорает.
Глупо в ком-то искать новый смысл опять, понимая,
Что того, кто им был для тебя, не заменит никто.

...Только все же, наверно, его я ни в чем не виню,
Ведь, помимо моей, здесь ничьей быть не может вины,
В том, что мне показалось, как будто люблю…
В том, что свет я искала, где нет ничего, кроме тьмы…

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Апрель

Умирает апрель, и светит бессмысленно Солнце,
Каждой клеткой чувствую я дыханье весны.
Только оно мне в лицо жестоко смеется,
И не греет никак, оставляя холод внутри.

Давай делать вид, что жизнь никогда не закончится,
И продолжать притворяться, что нам всё равно.
А может быть, смысл как раз в одиночестве?
Но, как бы там ни было, будет все хорошо…

Пора осознать, что чудес не бывает!
Мы стремимся к тому, что нас убивает,
Стиснув зубы, вновь радость изображаем,
А надежда тем временем медленно нас покидает…

«Почему?» Самый глупый вопрос.
Смирись и иди, не вешая нос!
Мечтай о том, что уже не вернется.
Жди, но ты никогда не дождешься.

Ты можешь лгать хоть в зеркале отражению,
И верить в то, что следует продолжение…
Молча страдать в ожиданьи покоя,
Но даже во сне безмятежность сменяется болью.

Злись… плачь… терпи… умоляй… умирай.
Эффекта не будет, как ни крути.
Разве есть разница, ад или рай?
Забудь… отрекись… и навек отпусти.

(Written on 28.04.2011)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Свобода?

Эй, Мир… я не нужна тебе!
И никогда не стать мне твоей Частью…
Нет, мне не достучаться до Небес,
И не вернуть потерянное Счастье…

Мне не увидеть больше Солнца свет,
И не узнать, как эта Жизнь прекрасна…
Я знаю только, что Пути иного нет,
И Судный День оттягивать напрасно!

Все, что осталось, – лишь Надежды тень,
Жестокая, навязчивая Память,
Что возвращает в тот далекий День,
Где Ничего нельзя уже исправить…

Таких дней было много, будут и еще…
Зачем же дальше совершать Ошибки?
Зачем вести всем Пораженьям счет,
Пытаясь выжить без твоей Улыбки?..

И кажется, что Вечно будет так…
Досадно, но ведь это Заблужденье…
Взгляд отрешенный, а в Душе бардак,
И с каждым днем все меньше Веры в Пробужденье…

Мы Смысл придаем пустым вещам,
Мы прячемся под маской Суеты…
Жизнь пролетит как Миг, не предоставив Шанс
Сказать тебе, как много значишь Ты…

Но я смогу Свободу обрести,
Когда отброшу Страх и Сожаленье,
И, погибая, прошепчу «Прости»,
Вот только мне не будет уж Прощенья…

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Vampire Fantasy

Очень скоро я узнаю приговор.
Мне почти не жаль, но страшно до сих пор…

Лишь звезд мерцанье в темных небесах
Развеет понемногу этот страх.

Так высоко над крышами домов,
Где уж не слышно всех банальных слов,

Иголка кожу тонкую проткнет,
Я готова к путешествию – вперед!

Разливается по телу сладкий яд,
Пускай немеют пальцы, нет пути назад!

В полумраке засверкают вдруг глаза…
Тучи черные затянут небеса.

Ни луны, ни звезд – нет больше ничего!
Только бешеный стук сердца моего.

Словно что-то изменилось в этот миг,
И застынет в моем горле жалкий крик.

Грохот грома нарушает тишину,
Вспышки молний разрезают темноту…

Голос тихо мое имя произносит,
Мысли путая, сознание уносит.

Леденеет кровь, и как в бреду
На звук его послушно я иду.

Знаю: не разрушить этих чар,
И не потушить в груди пожар.

Дым отравленный слегка притупит боль,
И вот уж полностью теряю я контроль.

Знакомая рука обхватит мою шею,
И я сопротивляться не посмею.

Так близко ощущаю я дыханье,
Твой взгляд, парализующий сознанье,

Ласкает, опьяняет и зовет опять
Блеск дьявольский в глазах, но шепот мне не разобрать.

«Убей меня», - я попрошу без слов,
Освободи от роковой любви оков,

Избавив от проклятия и мук…
Тебе же так легко, мой милый друг!

Ведь я сгораю в медленном огне…
И острые клыки вонзятся в кожу мне.

Пей до последней капли мою кровь,
Пока шепчу я твое имя вновь и вновь...

Прижми меня к себе в последний раз,
Чтобы продлить смертельный мой экстаз.

Остывших губ моих слегка коснись,
Затем в тумане предрассветном растворись…

А я усну навеки в леденящей мгле,
Познав единственное счастье на Земле.

...Очень скоро я узнаю приговор.
Мне почти не жаль...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

...

That’s a terrible feeling to know I’m gonna be alone forever… killing time in front of my computer, choking with my own uselessness and nothingness, longing for death when watching happy faces of the couples holding hands and kissing in the bus like we used to… I’m tired of waking up and falling asleep with thoughts of the one who considers me trash... I have to forget about those days forever… There’s no love, only fucking chemistry… And I knew I would have to pay for everything, so why do I wonder?!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

F.E.L.S. (Russian Version)

Быть первым во всем – это не про тебя,
Но и где-то в конце – так тоже не честно.
Ненавидишь весь мир, но еще больше себя,
А виною всему только слабость твоя.
Ты – третий лишний везде и всегда,
И года пролетают в напрасных мечтах.
Бледен твой лик, а внутри пустота,
И смешались отчаянье, злоба и страх.

Глаза словно ночь, безумные сны…
В сердце твоем от любви горький след.
Сбежать от себя пытаешься ты,
Ты словно в ловушке, и выхода нет.
О если бы ветер куда-то унес
Душу твою от кошмара и слез!
Никто не утешит и боль не смягчит,
Жестокую правду тебе не забыть!

Зачем так мерзко в душе?
И нечем дышать, и нечего ждать…
Мечтаешь ты скрыться во тьме,
Исчезнуть, уйти, навсегда убежать…

Солнечный свет режет глаза,
Ты просишь дождя, кричишь в небеса.

Грусть стала твоей родною сестрой,
И с ней не разлучишься ты никогда.
А музыка – все, для чего ты живешь,
Что душу твою воскресит навсегда.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Никогда никого не любить...

Никогда никого не любить,
День за днем боль в бокале топить,
И не помнить, и слезы не лить,
Лишь смотреть в никуда и курить…

Пламя в сердце своем затушить,
И твой образ навеки забыть.
В пустой комнате свет погасить,
До рассвета пытаясь дожить…

Взять и все sms удалить,
И на фото твои не смотреть.
Только ранам, увы, не зажить,
Только память, увы, не стереть!

Не скучать и с ума не сходить,
Одиночество молча принять.
Продолжать по течению плыть
И спасенья уже не искать.

Никогда никого не любить,
И не верить, не думать, не ждать.
Пустотой себя вновь окружить,
Не мечтать, не гореть, не дышать…

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Time

Time… why don’t you wait for me?
You keep on running, leaving me behind…
Time… why do you laugh at me?
I’ve tried so hard to understand the point of life!

I can’t find the answers,
Every day is just the same,
I keep going round in circles,
Will it be this way until the end?

Nothing to hold on to,
Nothing to care about,
Maybe I’m blind, but I still miss too much…
My life isn’t worth a thing
I’m sick of this routine!
Little things drive me mad,
And as the years go by, I only feel regret…

Dreams… you’re overtaking me…
Why do I still deceive myself so hard?
Sometimes I’m consumed by fear,
And in the end it’s gonna make me fall apart!

Paralyzed by awareness
Of the things I cannot change,
But I’m tired of suppressing
All these feelings that are deep and strange!

Oh how can I make it clear?
I must never let it show,
‘Cause it’s too wrong and all I know
I’m gonna pay for this and get what I deserve…

Monday, February 22, 2010

Fallen Again...

I wake up in the silence of a grey morning… Open my eyes to the nightmare of what is real. In the first moment I can’t even figure out where I am… I’ve just been dreaming of that place full of sunlight, where I’m not anymore… And the next moment I know everything and the sinister reality enters my heart causing pain, which is too heavy for me to endure… For some time I try to fall asleep again, refuse to abandon my blanket, which keeps me warm… But it can’t save me from the cold I feel inside… I don’t want to look out of the window or go anywhere... Then I hear the voice of the one, who once was so dear to me, but now seems a stranger… I’m not at home anymore! Shivering, I pick up my body from the bed. Hey, welcome back to monotony! Oh, I believed I’d never be the same again. They said it would change my life… Yes, I had been longing for changes! I couldn’t wait to break out of my ugly routine – and that’s what I’ve done. But now the party’s over - I’m back again… and I wasn’t prepared for this! Could I have imagined what was awaiting me?! Everybody expects me to express my emotions… But I’ve got no emotions at all! I can’t recall the details they’d like to hear… I don’t even want to speak – I’m lazy to open my mouth to say common things like “That was great!” Call me sullen or whatever you like... I know what I am, and I’ll probably never transform into anything different. I can try to feign, but it won’t last long either... I will have to lie to them that I’m OK… I'll smile and drop my eyes… I won’t reveal my pain to them, because they will never understand it! The point is, I made a wish and it suddenly came true… I found what I’d been looking for… But only for a little while! It was the main thing I desired when standing by the Wailing Wall… And now I’m only left to ask myself: why? Did it do me any good?? Why did I have to hurt the one who truly cares about me? Well, maybe, it's no more than just another obsessive autosuggestion of mine? And I will recover soon, won’t I?.. Yet there are still the jealous ones, who really think that I’m not alone… who think I’m lucky… Yes, I haven’t learnt how to appreciate the things I’ve got, the people around me... I’m never satisfied. I always want too much. I used to complain about every trifling thing. I always seek the impossible! I keep crying for the moon, no matter what… That’s my nature. I will never be happy in this world - I just don’t fit in. It's not about cities or countries, people or nations… it's about me. I won’t be original, saying that I want to return to that sunny place... I'm sure, everyone does! But in my case, there seems to be no other choice, because I don’t belong here! I choke and no one, nothing can help me this time…
No warmth, no consolation, no oblivion… No poetry, no music… Just an empty silence all around me and inside of me… Maybe, my cross is not so big as it seems, still I’ll have to bear it till the end of my days. I realize that the flow of time is too fast, and every feeling, every memory is fleeting… And I am no longer a young girl to be so foolish... One day I’ll look back at my past and won’t see anything… But what I need right now is to keep myself busy, find any other occupation, do what I love to, just to divert my thoughts from this frustrating love… Why is everything so simple for them and so complicated for me? Why is there no balance between the complete unfeelingness and feelings that are extremely strong?..

Friday, January 29, 2010

Friday, May 15, 2009

La música... Creo que ella fue mi solo amor verdadero y sincero de toda mi vida, pero... este amor nunca ha sido recíproco.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Esperando lo que sea...

No quiero ir a casa...
¿Pero qué puedo hacer? ¿Pasar la noche en la oficina?
Estoy triste porque realmente no sé cual es mi destinación en la vida...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Castle of Fears

I can't believe I'm here again... Maybe I'm drunk? Well, I want you to see the song, perhaps a bit childish, which I wrote several months ago... although it won't become a song.

“That castle's dark and fearsome”, - so many people say.
He, who dares to go there, will not come back again.
It is the lair of demons, they waken in the night.
People are defenseless against their boundless might.

Hey, lonely stranger,
Don’t you stop and stare.
Keep away from the castle,
Ghosts abide in there.
Under the full moon
The evil power reigns.
Beware, my friend, cause this is not a game.

“I don't believe all these lies”, - sharply the stranger replies.
These terrors and fears are your own fantasies,
They only exist in your dreams.

Don’t you be scared,
Chase demons from your head.
Don’t you be scared,
The castle is your head.

“You are so brave and fearless, you must have lost your mind.
Pray for your salvation, you cannot win this fight.”

Don’t you be scared,
Chase demons from your head.
Free yourself from fear,
And they will disappear.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Seasons

¡Buenas noches!
Yo no estoy muerto. Todavía estoy aquí. He venido para presentaros mi canción nueva.

How gorgeous is the blossom smell!
I feel it now with every cell.
Young spring is laughing in my face,
Where time has left its bitter trace…

I like this summer greenery,
Blue sky and woodland scenery,
But burning sunbeams drive me mad,
I wish that it would rain instead.


And autumn will come,
It won’t take so long
Before the days are glum,
Before the sun is gone…
And no one understands
Why I hate this fall,
But it makes no sense
At all.

Still winter we cannot avoid,
The snow will hide our confidence.
It’s time to try to fill the void,
Pretending that life never ends.


Monday, December 10, 2007

Потерянный рай...

Fall asleep, dear love, fall asleep in my arms,
Fall asleep to the music of rain.
Faraway, somewhere on the edge of the sky
You will find the lost paradise…


(Ария)

:-)

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

¡Feliz Cumpleaños!

Today this blog's become 1 year old.
Yeah, a year ago it felt so amazing, so exciting to create my own blog! But now... I think I should write something, but dunno what.
Everything is so different now...

Monday, October 1, 2007

Infinity of Desolation

Она идет, не ведая пути,
Бежать пытаясь тщетно от себя,
Но что она надеется найти,
Не чувствуя, не веря, не любя?


О, сколько лет потеряно навек,
О, сколько пустоты в ее глазах!
Бог, Дьявол или, может, человек
В ее душе посеял этот страх?


Страх пробужденья от наивных грез,
Ночных кошмаров сумасшедший страх;
И каждый новый шаг ей стоит слез,
Застывших солью на ее щеках.


Невидима, ничтожна, словно тень,
Так незначительна среди чужих миров,
Зачем-то любит ночь и ненавидит день,
Купаясь в море тривиальных слов.


Ей чужда жизнь, но так пугает смерть,
Которой никому не избежать;
Она твердит себе, что нужно потерпеть,
Хотя и знает – нечего ей ждать!


Что ж, пусть душа грубеет день за днем,
Пусть в пропасть катятся надежды и мечты!
Ее судьба – как повесть ни о чем,
Лишь трата времени в объятьях суеты.


О, темный ангел, бесконечный сон
Ведь лучше, чем страданья стон?!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Everlasting Dream

(Probably, influenced by HIM)

- Are you ready, dear?..
***
Come to the infinite bliss,
Just one leap into the abyss,

Just one flight hand in hand,
Come on, join me, my friend!

Then we’ll be rescued from this life,
Perpetuate our love tonight!

Friday, June 29, 2007

¿Sueño Infinito, quieres de despertarte al fin?

“¿Va la inundación detrás de mí a extinguir el fuego dentro de mí?” - estas palabras significativas pertenecen a Davey Havoc. Pero probablemente, mi traducción no es exacta :)

Saturday, June 9, 2007

La imaginación morbosa

Me pregunto por qué las noches son llenas de sueños terribles; ellos asustan mi corazón frágil y hueco...
Buscando la salida y sintiéndome tan extraño,
Me despierto con pensamientos indeterminados...

Le amaré siempre...

Thursday, May 31, 2007

For Every Lost Soul

You have never claimed to be always the first,
But why should you be the last one forever?!
You hate the whole world, but yourself you hate most,
Because you’re too weak to ask for better!

You’re always the odd one, in every place,
This agony's lasted for so many years.
Emptiness shows through your pale gloomy face,
Mixed with hopelessness, anger and fear.

Your eyes are coal-black; your dreams are insane,
Your love, deep and fatal, gives nothing but pain.
You try to escape, you want to let go,
You’re only a coward, trapped in a hole.

You beg summer wind to carry away
Your soul from this endless nightmare and shame.
There’s no one to soothe you and make you forget
Grim truth for a while, - and you’re not gone yet.

It feels so rotten inside,
How can you stay here?
Oh, you wish you could hide
Or just disappear...

All tears have run dry,
The sun hurts your eyes.
You long for the rain,
You look at the sky...

This sadness became your sister and friend,
You’ll never part with it, you failed to pretend.
Your sweetheart is music, the one you live for, -
Your soul's resurrection forevermore...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My Version of "Roses On My Grave" performed by Papa Roach


I’m just an alien in this life
I feel so low while they are all so high
The clouds always seemed too far away
But I’ll be released one day
Can’t wait anymore, I pray

I’ve got no one to put those damned roses on my grave
I’ve got no one to put those damned roses on my grave
Roses on my grave

(Repeat everything from the beginning)

Please, recall me
Please, recall me
Try to hear me
Please, recall me

It’s my salvation,
My one salvation
It’s my salvation
My one salvation

I’m going to the other side
What is there on the other side?
Who’s waiting on the other side?
You’ll find me on the other side…


The original lyrics you can read here

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Insomnia

Why is this life so unjust?
Why do my dreams turn to dust?
Tell me, whom on this earth can I trust?
I feel so cold and alone,
I wish my heart was a stone,
It’s unfair; it’s no good; it’s so wrong!

I’m deceiving myself,
But it’s all that can help
Me to stand one more day of this hell.
Could you please tell me why?
You still don’t hear me cry,
Dear, without you I’m so petrified!

I’ve got nothing to say,
Only wait, love and pray…

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Mad Race/Escape

I've got away with it again,
I've broken all the rules.
My conscience still appeals to me,
But no pity for those fools!
It serves them right, they're taken down,
But they will be okay.
I fear no more, so come what may –
That's what I wanna say.


(Chorus):

Faster, bolder, I run on the wrong side.
Wiser, colder, I really love this ride!
Deeper, stronger your feelings will grow soon.
But I'm there no longer, unreachable like moon.

I get a kick out of this race,
I wish the world was mine…
Forget the way back to that place
And leave my tears behind.
Elsewhere I will be fine!


(Chorus)

I feel so cool and so complete,
You won't even believe!
Don’t give a damn ‘bout all that shit,
Can’t wait for you to leave.
It’s fucking good to live!


(Oh, where could I get music to make it a REAL song?...)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Friday, 13

¡Hola, mis amigos! (It’s just funny how I’m speaking to myself:) )
This was written on that “happy” day of the last week; now it’s too late to publish it, but still…

Pressed for time,
Short of rhyme,
She’d never make it right,
No matter how she tried.

She’s too slow, too lazy,
Silly, weak and old,
They just call her crazy,
And her story’s told.

Awkward, foolish, ugly…
The vice list has no end,
No one wants her body,
No one can understand…
How long will she pretend?!

Hey, I don’t dissemble!
I just tell the truth.
Who can help me gamble
My soul away and through?

To hell with this routine,
On Friday, the thirteenth!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Delirium

A half-empty glass of wine,
Tonight I'm on my own again.
The window light dazzles my eyes,
I wish the thunderstorm began!

I draw the curtains very tight,
Let the dark come sooner now
to cover me with its black veil;
I'll fall into mad sleep somehow...

I see strange faces, hear a song,
Suddenly soaring like a bird;
The glass is drained, blood's on the snow,
I run and gasp, and fall and crawl...

Some noise, some light... God, where am I?
Am I delirious?.. I cry...
It's time to quit, it's time to wake,
Return to world of void and fake...

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Soliloquy

Don’t be afraid,
Fear is so disgusting!
Try to resist,
Girl, you must not trust him!

Don’t forget this lesson,
Learn it very well;
You must overcome love
To escape this hell.

He is not real,
It’s a false sensation;
He’s nothing but
Your imagination…

You have never seen him,
And you should not do;
Let it stay a puzzle,
Cease to seek the truth!

Smile and forget,
Never regret…



Happy Birthday, baby…

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It's been so long since the last time I was here! And though I guess that nobody's been missing me here, I come back... just to say a few rhymed words about the problem which has been worrying me (and probably, not only me), but which no one is going to solve. Well, does anybody care?..



****
Who's aware of games they play?
Everyone! But who’s to say?
Who will stop them? Please, don't wait!
Save us until it's too late!

Money... Huge, enormous sums,
Given to destroy the arms –
That's the reason they must lie,
That's the reason we must die!
Morn to evening, working week,
Hurrying up, but don't know where,
We can't change it, we’re too weak,
Drifting... What waits for us there?
Tide will carry us to nowhere...

Damned by cruel destiny,
Town that was just meant to be
Sacrificed to feed their greed,
To become a cemetery...

Does it matter who's to blame?
He won't be punished, anyway
For thousands of forgotten names,
For lives not lived which burnt in flame,
For broken hopes and dreams erased...

It has always been this way:
They rule, they slay, but never pay.
There is no justice; But one day
Their sins and crimes will all unfold...
Let's wait and hope for better world!

Friday, February 16, 2007

To A Stranger...

Wake me
From this endless dream,
Don’t break me,
I’ve been sleeping for so long…
Help me find where I belong.

Heal me,
In this crowded place
Just hear me,
Notice me, don’t pass me by,
Say, it’s gonna be alright...

Lead me
From darkness to the light,
Don’t leave me,
Save me when all hope is gone,
Please, don’t let me be alone!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Waiting In Another World

Long ago I wrote these English lyrics for a well-known Russian song. Actually, the words and the meaning of it were absolutely different. But I just couldn't get rid of my traditional idea...

In the world of hate and lies
He is spending days and nights,
And his kindness.
She knows, he misses her blue eyes,
They can see through his disguise,
He's so helpless.

Looking at her picture,
He can't hold back tears,
Runs away just to escape his fears...

I can't stop thinking of you,
Every minute's like a hell;
Love touched me once in my life,
It was first and farewell.
I've left no trace of myself,
On the earth I won't be back;
But you keep me in your memories,
I know it's me
that you lack...

He's remaining in her heart
And she cannot push him out,
The cross is heavy...
Still remembering his arms,
Can't get used to be alone
In this heaven.

There will come a day,
When they meet again;
She just hopes it won't be long to wait...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hopeless?


It's such a fear, it's such a feeling,
When things go right, when life improves,
Like something's gonna spoil it through,
Someone would break it, steal it, kill it!

Good things can never last too long,
We'll lose what we have earned and won;
Just put up with this and stay strong,
Return to where we all belong.

So wistful, desperate I'm sitting,
Still hoping it won't happen so,
Believing I can let it go,
But faith is fragile, life is fleeting...

Friday, January 26, 2007

The Will

Guess I wasn’t fine
When I was alive,
They despised and mocked me every day.
Was it all my fault?
Being unlike them all,
I just closed my eyes and slipped away.

Don’t blame me for that,
You better forget
This figure of vice,
This soul made of ice.
You live your sweet life
And go your own way,
Be happy, don’t ask
Why I could not stay.

This world is so great,
There’s no place for me,
Display no remorse,
I could get no worse…

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

JUST A DREAM

Headlights of the car
Are cutting up the night;
Now that you have come,
I know I'll be alright.
Heart is beating faster,
Stars seem to be closer,
These feelings I could never replay;
Everything is perfect,
I've been waiting for it,
I've never felt so good as today...

Open my eyes...
Still the same empty room...
I see the dawn arise,
Cannot change the doom.
Feels like I was brought here
From the different life.
My time has slipped away,
I've lost that precious time...

It was just a dream,
Sweet and foolish dream...
Close my eyes
To get back into that world,
To live in fairy-tale,
To hear your every word...

Sometimes it's late to say "I'm sorry",
Sometimes it's late to wake;
I have to face the morning,
My heart just has to ache...

We will meet in heaven after death.
Now stuck in here, left without hope and faith...

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

MISSING...


I feel cold raindrops on my lips and fingers,
I hate myself for wanting him, but linger
To go and leave it all at once - I still stay;
This anger devours me inside, there's no way...

I can see nothing through mist around me,
Hanging my head down, I hide my gaze.
Everybody has somewhere to hurry...
Never notice me, just walk away!..

So fast it gets dark,
And rain becomes hard...
"Abandoned by Fate"-
That's my second name...
Don't think about this,
Accept what it gives you!
I speak and I cry,
And silence replies:
There's just one place
You always return,
Get warm with hot tea;
My dreams await me...

...I wish I could hear his voice
And see him just once!
I know that he is
Just my next disease...

THE ONLY FRIEND

She couldn't conceal, she could not hide
Her woes and her sadness behind the smile.

Talking to silence, she sends herself
Letters, confessions, tickets to hell...

That's all she has got and won't throw away.
What is the meaning of these words I say?

Alone she was born and alone she will die;
No miracle will happen, no one’s to hear her cry!

She is forever herself's only friend.
Will God ever hear her? Will he understand?

So easily love has turned into hate;
There's no damned chance to flee from her fate!

Forgive all her mistakes, fill her empty soul...
Who'll give her the reasons for living in this hole?!

Being the only one friend to herself,
Searching the remedy,
Fading to history - was this just meant to be?..